Your eye rolling is ok with me

Lessons from being intimidated by a blank page

Hi friends,

Here we are. A blank page.

And I am acutely aware that for some, this will be an eye-roll inducing experience… “Here she goes again… another new thing/place/platform…”. And I’m ok with that.

I’ve had a lot of lessons in being ok with people rolling their eyes at me. Some of which I will one day write about… some of which I am testing to see if I am willing to write about in my book… some of which will probably never see the light of day.

It’s through these lessons that I am learning to overcome my fear of the blank page.

I’m aware that for many, the idea of being asked “what do you want?” Can create a feeling of panic. We believe that we don’t know what we want when we are asked openly… When we are given more specific focus to the question, we can find it easier to either express what we want or at least, begin to explore it.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’ve spent 9 years false starting on writing my book. This week, as I navigate the emotional rollercoaster of one of my steepest personal challenges to date - I have identified the reason as to why I’ve been holding myself back. While I’m not ready to share the details of that yet - that time is coming.

What I know to be true is that in order for me to deepen into open expression, I have to be willing to take emotional risks.

And here we are. A blank page. An emotional risk.

Will people roll their eyes at me? Probably…

Has eye rolling been an emotional trigger point for me in the past? Absolutely…

Am I willing to take the risk now? YES.

And I have deep feelings as I type these words. Judgement of myself around whether this is self indulgent… Fear around whether it’s disrespectful of your time for me to suggest that you read my inner dialogue… And… a knowing that when I share from my heart I am always met with response that I said something you needed to hear (those kinds of comments and feedback are extremely affirming for me so consider this an open invitation to always reply to anything you see of mine with how it made you feel).

It would have been easy to put this first post here off until later. I’m away… I’m going through a scary experience… I’m supposed to be writing my book - isn’t this a distraction…?

My decision here is… the more risk that I am willing to take… the more vulnerable that I am willing to be… even if it doesn’t work out the way that I have in my mind - the more true to myself that I become.

And I can’t imagine a more valuable outcome than that.

Expect journal style streams of consciousness… unedited writings… coachable takeaways… travel stories… and life in general. While Phenomenal Living as a brand to me means: Travel, Transformation & Making money…. This space is an experiment.

And apparently a whole lot of - “…”

Here we go.

Thank you for being on this journey with me.

Laura x